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11:37 pm

It was very dark, chills and all i can remembered was the pained that i've gained. the way we both use to walk across the road yet he had to hold me so that i wont just carelessly walked away. but that day, that day since i finally realised that he only took 1 day to cheat for the whole 2 years it fucks me up. cant deny. but then, as i walked through the street, every details memories i can say i know it too well, time wont fly like im paralysed by it.. the night when he made me his own.. now he mailed back my things and i walk home alone. but then, i saw him. yes, i saw him. he walk to me and im trying my best to avoid him till he said

"you're not happy" he said.
"what do you mean?'
"that guy, you're not happy with him"
"how would you know. im good with him, he's nice, caring and he only care about me"
"my dear, you only like him cause he feel so safe. like.. ooh so safe, he wont broke your heart but my dear.. you're not." he pushed me to the wall as he stared deeply into my eyes. green to black. then, he put his face closer to me, putting our lips so close till the gravity to much then he put his lips to my ear whispering something that caught off my guard "i told you so"

semua kau

bismillah,

memang payah..

andai kau berharap bukan pada Allah..

sedikit kecundang, mula berburuk sangka kepada Allah..

sedangkan Dialah yang menjagamu sehingga kini

memang sakit..

andai kau berikan hati, sepenuhnya tidak pada Allah..

sekali retak, tiada lagi Penawar..

sedangkan hanya Dia pengubat segalanya

memang buntu..

andai kau mencari jawapan tanpa berbalik kepada tuhan..

bukankah Dia yang menguji?

maka seharusnya Dialah tempat kita kembali

ku pesan pada hati,

berbalik kepada Allah,

pegang utuh hanya pada Allah,

andai engkau semakin jauh..

andai engkau semakin sesat..

bukan kerana Allah, tetapi kau!

kau yang melepaskan tali ikatanmu dengan Allah.

-credit from kak faz.

HAPPY VIBES.

Alhamdulilah..

Happy vibes je sekarang ni. Yelah rasa macam apa guna kalau hidup sedih sedih hikhik.. lagipun,kisah silam yang lepas yes of course masih terkesan but well at the same time tulah jadi pengajaran. Buat penangan hidup yang tak semua kita boleh percaya n tak sesenang tu je kita nak bagi hati dekat orang lain. Ingatlah betapa susah nak move on,nak fix balik hati sampai jadi sado yek? Hmm so gegurls di luar sana,if you ada unstable emotion whatever it is.. believe in yourself. Gather some strength and fight with your own self-defense. Huhu. Janganlah asyik post something emo or something sad sampai satu kampung boleh tau situation kau tengah teruk,well tu tak mengubah perspective orang terhadap kau pun,handle it yourself lagi bagus. Just ask some advice dekat kawan yes ofkos,anyway tawakal,redha, maybe kalau kau tak lalui sakit sesuatu tu kau takkan matang. Lagi satu,"JANGAN NANGIS UNTUK ORANG YANG TAK LAYAK BUAT KAU NANGIS". Siapa yang tak layak? Well u know it yourself,tengok depan cermin.. buat reflection terhdp diri then tanya,

1. Apa ubah kau sampai jadi macam tu sekali.
2. Berbaloi ke selama ni kau tabur bakti dekat si dia
3. Dulu kau lemah macam ni ke?
4. Siapa ajar kau jadi lemah camni?
5. Bangun.

Okay senang je kan? But if still tak jumpa jawapan,doa lah yee.. minta petunjuk supaya hati tak terus songsang buat keputusan. Kalau sakit sangat sampai susah nak handel rindu or somewhat,jangan buat kerja bodo sebab apa? Sebab kita dah cukup bodoh sedekahkan hati dekat org tak guna. So at least,show lah sikit yang kau tu extraordinary. Takyah nak jadi typical sangat. Bosan bangang,alahaaaii..